All This Time
by patriettegirl
Summary: Giles realizes what is going on in Sunnydale after he left in Season 6. AU
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Buffy and Giles after he left for England in Season 6. Totally AU.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I wish I did.

A/N: Took a break for a bit, but now I am back and no this is not in third person, finally broke free of that voice in my head. Please enjoy with my blessings.

Rainy days, not many of those in the California desert, but low and behold we are having one. Actually this is the 6th rainy day in a row that we have had, any more rain and the basement might flood again, and right now my budget really cannot take that.

Its now been 114 days since Giles left and returned back to Bath. I'm not counting or anything, Dawn's been keeping track, I think she and Xander have a bet going about how long it will take Giles before he comes back, and the calendar that keeps track just so happens to be located in the kitchen on the fridge where I look at it every time that I go for something to drink. Days like today where it not only rains but it pours remind me of how much I miss him and how much I wish that he was here.

Right now I am enjoying the quiet the house is currently offering. Dawn is at school, while Willow is at the Magic Box and that just leaves me here alone. Kind of new metaphor for my life. Yes there is Spike who keeps appearing out of no where, since we kissed I kind of have been ignoring him, not so well, but hey I still try. So that's why I am home on a rainy afternoon alone, watching as the mailman walks the block in the rain delivering mail. Today there may be a letter from Giles in there, he and Dawn along with Willow have become pen pals of sorts and if I happen to open the mail before Dawn gets home then its no biggie, right?

I practically jump on the mailman as he goes to slide the mail through the slot on the door, but I will worry about that another time. Its been nearly 3 weeks since Giles last letter and I know that he usually responds pretty quickly, and since he hasn't responded yet I'm concerned, believe it or not he is still my watcher. Flipping through there are no letters only bills, those never seem to stop every month like clockwork they come for once I wish that they wouldn't.

Back inside I sit on the couch and get taken back to when Giles first retuned after you know I came back from the dead again. This small couch trying to fit his masculine frame, kind of cute. If I reach out I can almost feel him here still and touch him like these past few months haven't happened and that he is still here standing by my side.

"Hey Buff!"

"Xander, when did you get here?"

"A while ago, you seemed pretty out of it there. Something on your mind?"

"Oh nothing, just trying to figure out the bills for next month, you know those pesky things."

"Yeah, usually helps with the planning to open them."

"Right." I look at the pile of mail in my hand and realize that I haven't opened any of it, I was too lost in my thoughts of Giles to even open the mail. "I'm going to start working on dinner, I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

"Ok, hey Buff!"

"Yeah?"

"Its OK to miss him, we all do."

"Yeah." I turn and walk away into the kitchen, getting the milk from the fridge I see that silly calendar and look at the number of days he's been gone. 114 days, how much longer can I last before I break down and call him.

I look at the stack of mail on the table in the hall, the letter from Dawn right on top, the letter from Willow right underneath it, two letters both from California, both informing me about Buffy and how she is coping. It was a very hard choice that I had to make in regards to leaving her and Sunnydale behind, but it was the choice that I made and it is the choice that I must live with.

In the beginning I used to answer, sent Dawn some money every once in a while to help around the house. I know that Buffy never knew and as far as I know she never once sat down to write me a letter or even pick up the phone and call. I do miss them all terribly, my children of sorts, all of them except for Buffy. Buffy was the only who wasn't like a child to me, she never could be given the responsibility that was bestowed upon her at such a young age.

3 weeks since the letters arrived, I cannot bear to open them, I want to if only to know that she is still alive and taking care of herself, but I don't because I know that once I read the letters I will want to pack a bag and get on the next plane to America. I left because Buffy needs to learn to stand on her own and she cannot do that if I return anytime there is slightest hint of trouble.

I walk outside and sit on the step, it's a quiet night, Spring is starting to set in the air, it's a brisk night not too cold, enough to remind me of California and Sunnydale and Buffy. Of late all my thoughts land on her, regardless of if I want them to or not. I grab a jacket from just inside the door, I don't wear it too often, but it suits its purpose by helping to keep the heat in on cool nights. Inside my pocket is a note from Buffy, I'd forgotten that I had even had this, then I remember when it was written, right before she defeated Glory and was trying her best to protect Dawn as well as the rest of us. Even as an adult, it was hard to contain all of that energy. I read the note and can't help but close my eyes and picture her there with me.

"_Giles, will be late for training, had to go get Dawn! Promise we will work out today! See you in a bit! XXO Buffy"_

That was before I lost her, sometimes I wish that it would have been me in her place, anyone other than her or Dawn. I curse Willow for bringing her back to life, and refusing to let her rest in peace. I walk inside and do the math in my head its about 2 in the afternoon there, Dawn and Willow would be at school and Buffy would most likely be at work. I won't call, I guess I should read the letters from the girls.

Nearly 4 months since I left and so much of me wants to return, if only I had a some sort of an indication that I should. One day hopefully soon I shall figure it out. Dawn's letter is first, hopefully it will brighten my mood.

_Dear Giles,_

_Just got your last letter, seriously that was fast, seemed like only yesterday I sent it, if you know what I mean. Ok time to play catch up on everything. Willow and Tara are still not talking, Willow is trying to quit cold turkey the magic use but I don't think its going so well. Only time will tell. Xander and Anya are barely speaking to one another after well you know the whole non wedding deal. I really wish you had been there perhaps he would have said yes. Anya is being all quiet now and doesn't really talk much unless she is asking us to make wishes, but not sure why she wants us to make a wish. _

_School is good, not sure what the point is, but Buffy makes me go, so I have to. She's doing good too, I know that she is tired, working double shifts most days to make the ends meet. I think she tries to take a day off at least once a week, but sometimes she can't help how much she is working combine that with the slaying and well she's trying. _

_Willow and I have a calendar on the fridge counting down the days that you have been gone. 96 at last glance, sometimes I catch Buffy looking at the number and she goes blank. She misses you I just don't think she wants to admit it to anyone, I guess she feels then it would be real and she's not ready to believe that you aren't here anymore. Time for dinner, write soon!_

_Miss you!_

_Dawn_

That child really needs to pay attention to her words, that American slang really has had a bad impact on her writing. At least everyone is alive, well is another matter, but nothing that I can do about it from here and certainly nothing that I can do about it tonight. Perhaps tomorrow my head will be clear and I can decide my next course of action.

A/N: So almost third person, but not quite, I hope that you like it just a little fluff of an idea that popped into my head and trust me I have more where that came from.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ok so not sure where this came from or why, but I hope that you are enjoying. Please review kindly.

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

116 days have now gone by according to the calendar on the fridge, 116 nights of slaying that I survived without him here to help me or to train me. I'm surprised I'm still in shape without Giles being here. Anya refuses to let me use the training room when there are customers for fear the sounds I make will scare them away, so I limit my training to after store hours before slaying and sometimes first thing in the morning, that is however if I don't have to work a double shift at work. I picked up a lot of doubles this week in the hopes of bringing in some extra money and having a full day off on Friday which is two days away.

I hear Willow come in and pull away from the fridge and the calendar that draws me to it, I really need to have Dawn move it, then perhaps I wouldn't stare at it so often. As I'm walking up the stairs to get ready for work, Willow stops me.

"Buffy, is this all the mail?"

"Afraid so."

"Oh, its just Giles normal responds by now, but I haven't gotten anything, do you know if Dawn has."

"I don't think so."

"Oh ok, thanks."

"Welcome."

I go the rest of the way up the stairs and into my room, I shut the door and just stare at the pictures next to my mirror, the gang is all there staring right back at me, even a picture of Giles in the library, I pull it from its place and am taken back in time to when it was taken, so many years ago. How much everything has changed since then and yet it all seems to have remained the same.

I furiously get ready for work, my trip down memory lane has made me late. At least the roads are clear as I make my way across town in the Jeep. I'm not sure how, but I managed to make it to work on time with 5 minutes to spare. Of late my attendance at work has improved and my manager is thrilled to say the least. Today is not quite a double shift but I will be working 12 hours today so this is just the start of a long day.

The letters keep staring at me from the end table where I left them two days ago after reading them, I thought that Dawn was trying to sugar coat things and tell me that they were better than they were, but Willow's letter really got me thinking that perhaps I should return, or rather must return for the sake of my slayer. I read her letter again in hopes of one final clue to help me make my decision.

_Giles,_

_Dawn and I were both giddy over your last set of letters, neither one of us expected for you to write back so fast and the extra money you sent along was able to provide us with pizza, we told Buffy that Xander bought it so she wouldn't get upset, she doesn't know that you send money sometimes, if she did I think it would upset her. _

_You would be so proud of her Giles, she has managed to get the house in order and Dawn buckled down on her school work and absences, although I think that it helped when she was invincible for that one day. You would like her hair now its all short again just like it was when she first came to Sunnydale. Even I am amazed at all the progress that she is making. Me, Dawn and Xander have a bet as to when you are coming back and what not, I occasionally catch Buffy looking at the calendar just to see how many days you have been gone. I'm not sure she believes it. _

_The slaying has slowed some, which is odd but it is the Hellmouth, but I consider it a good thing since Anya no longer allows Buffy to train while the shop is open. I know she tries to go in at night before slaying but not always successful because of all the double shifts she has picked up in the past month. I think Spike is helping her, but he won't admit that to me or anyone. Even when Riley and his new wife came by last week, Buffy still held her ground and never let it show that she was in need of any help. _

_Most of us wish that you were here, but we know that you won't return before you are ready to, if at all. We wish you the best!_

_Love Willow._

Of the two letters that I received Willow's concerns me, when did Buffy become invisible, and why? Its hard to comprehend all that has happened in my absence, they seem to be doing well without me, well everyone but Buffy that is.

I'm concerned about how she handled seeing Riley again after all this time and the fact that he is married and brought his wife along with him could not have been easy to deal with. I fight my own feelings for as long as I could before I picked up the phone and made reservations for a flight back to Sunnydale. I need to see for myself that she really is ok.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hope you liked the first few chapters and continue to enjoy the rest of this story that just popped into my head.

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Day 118 according to the calendar, just woke up after working a double shift at the Doublemeat Palace and an intense night of slaying. Nearly came close to dusting Spike, he sure is getting annoying these past few days, but that doesn't stop him. No letters at all, 4 weeks have now gone by since Dawn or Willow received a letter and 4 months since he left, guess he's really not coming back.

Two days ago, I actually picked up the phone to call him, but hung up before I hit the last number. I missed him since before he got on the plane, but I wasn't willing to admit to him or myself not until now. Another Friday another day done, Dawn is at school, Willow at school and well Xander and Anya are working, at least the house is quiet for a little bit. I'm in the kitchen staring at the calendar looking at the number of days that Giles has been gone and out of my life, when a knock at the door breaks me from my trance.

I place my glass in the sink then walk down the hall to open the door, it's the middle of the afternoon so I have no fear of things that go bump in the night on the other side. Perhaps it's a certified letter coming in the mail, had a few of those lately, the bill collectors like to get their point across to the fact that you owe them money. The mailman hasn't knocked since Monday when I nearly trampled him with anticipation. So you can picture my surprise when I open the door and see what appears to be a man wearing a Camel colored blazer and jeans looking out over the street.

"Hello?" The blazer turns around and I am face to face with Giles and his deep green eyes starring at me. "Giles?"

"Hello Buffy. How are you?"

"Surprised."

"Yes, I quite imagine that you are. Might I come in?"

"Sure come on in." I realize that my tone is harsh and probably very curt, but I can't help it. He left 4 months ago, nearly a month since his last letter and now here he is standing in the hall with that concerned look of his and I want to be mad at him and scream at him for leaving me when I needed him the most. The bigger part of me wants to throw my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life, I never want him to leave me again.

"I know that this might be a bad time, but I desperately wanted to see you and how you are doing."

"A little late for that, you would know how I was doing if you would respond to just one of the letters Willow or Dawn have sent you in the past month. But hey I understand you were busy, I mean I'm sure you had plenty to keep you busy, I know I have with working double shifts 3 times a week and slaying and making sure that Dawn doesn't steal anything ever again and goes to school."

I start wringing my hands as a distraction, by my last count I have nearly reached out to hold him 6 times but am desperately trying hard not to, I need answers first. The biggest one of all is why did he finally return after all this time.

I can tell Buffy is both surprised and annoyed to see at the same time, and I suppose that she has every right to be. It's really not fair to her considering the way in which I left and the way in which I returned. It is not the same reunion I was greeted with when she retuned from the dead, but at that point I think she was happy to see me since I was not one of the ones who brought her back.

I notice that the door is still open behind me and I close it and then proceed to step further into the house. I can see that Buffy has been doing a wonderful job of keeping it up and maintaining it, but I wonder at what cost to her it is coming.

"May I have a glass of water?"

"Yeah, sure follow me." She leads me into the kitchen and pours me a glass of water from the fridge, when the door closes I can see the calendar mention in the letters from Willow and Dawn, days crossed off and numbers counted. 118 days, 2 shy of 4 months. In retrospect it was such a short amount of time, but to me it was an eternity in which I was pulled away from those that I love.

"So you are here, you've seen how I am. Anything else I can do for you?"

"Yes, there is as a matter of fact, you can tell me what's going on, what's bothering you. Your hair looks lovely by the way was that done before or after you became invisible?"

"Before I don't know why I just started cutting it and this was how it ended up. Wait, how did you know I was invisible? Willow, should have known. Why are you here?"

"Buffy I think we need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Talk he thinks that we need to talk, well where do I start or do I even want to, I mean he was the one that left after I reveled to him and my friends that I was brought back from Heaven and not some Hell dimension they thought I was occupying. And he was the one who stopped responding to the letters from Dawn and Willow but if he wants to talk, lets go ahead and talk.

"Well it seems that you know about what's been going on so why don't you tell me what you know and I shall fill in the blanks." I sound like a major bitch right now, I think I need to work on my tone.

"Well I know that you cut your hair, that you became invisible for a period of time, that you are working double shifts, that Anya won't let you train when the store is open and that Riley is now married."

"Well that about sums it up."

"Yes but it doesn't tell me how all of that happened or how you are dealing with it."

"I cut my hair to feel a release of pressure, I became invisible because Jonathan and a few others decided that they wanted to be my nemeses and thought it would be nice to make me go away, which had some advantages. I work double shifts to make ends meet and make sure no one is hungry, Anya thinks that the noises scare away customers, and Riley is married to Mrs. GI Joe, she is the complete opposite of me, but also the same so yeah. What's new with you?"

"That was a lot, I'm sure none of that was easy to deal with alone."

"Well I did deal with alone, everyone has a life that doesn't resolve around me and that's fine as long as they are all alive to enjoy it."

"But you don't enjoy it."

As the words try to come out of my mouth they fail me. For some reason I am speechless and have no idea what to say. Since the first time since my return, I break down and I cry hysterically. Giles is right I don't enjoy taking care of everyone or having to work as hard as I do with nothing to show for it. I do it because I have to, and want to I would rather go without then have those I love and that are close to me suffer.

I'm not sure how or when but I can feel Giles arms around me, holding me, rocking me trying to envelope me in a hug, something to make me feel like I am not alone as the realization that my life has somehow managed to slip past me when I wasn't looking. I just sit and cry like no other time I have cried in my life, all the while Giles holds me, safely in his arms.

I'm not sure if it was hours or minutes that passed before I finally calmed down. I vaguely recall Willow coming in and then disappearing again, more than likely to get Dawn from school and to tell everyone that Giles was here. At one point during my hysteria, Giles walked us to the couch, the same couch he stayed on when he came back the first time four months ago, the same couch I found mom dead on, the same one we have had since the move to Sunnydale, I really think its time for a new couch.

I have finally calmed down enough that I pull away from him just a bit, I still want him close to me while he is here, I don't know how long he's staying for or why he came back, but I will take what I can get while it lasts. Giles reaches into his coat and removes a handkerchief for me to use, he's still the perfect gentleman.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"The waterworks. It just hit me when you said that I don't enjoy doing what I do that I missed a lot in the past few years. You know between Mom dying and having to quit school and me dying."

"It's a lot for anyone I would imagine." I watch as he pauses to look around the house, I managed to clean it this morning after Hurricane Dawn left for school, but still it doesn't feel right to me. "From the looks of it you are doing a wonderful job."

"Yeah. Well looks can be deceiving."

At that point I stand and go to the kitchen, Giles requires no invitation to follow me, once there I start working on a cup of tea for him. There is still a box of Earl Grey around here somewhere that I used to keep on hand for just him, on the days I miss him the most, I make a cup just so I can pretend he is still here. I can tell he is looking around, trying to find any sort of signs as to what's been going on, but he won't find any thing. I do a good job of hiding things, not only from him but from Dawn and Willow as well. No point in them worrying about something that they can't help with. Nope this is my burden alone. I place the hot cup in front of him and watch as he sips the beverage, the shy smile that crosses his lips tells me I made just the way he likes it and that makes me happy. As he takes another sip I start talking, I figure he can't respond while his mouth is full of hot liquids.

"So yeah, I've been trying and doing good you could say. I managed to work out a plan with the bank and they delayed part of the mortgage until the end of the loan and got me a lower interest rate which brought the payments down. I work all the times that I can within the limits of labor laws so that the bills are all paid. Food gets tricky sometimes, Willow pitches in cause she lives here, and I occasionally see Xander bringing bags in when they think I'm not looking. The bills that keep the house running get paid the other ones were sent to collections before I returned from the dead or have been delayed until I can manage the funds to pay them. I haven't had to sell anything yet, but I may have to. I'm in the worst shape of my life and that is because I am not able to train, even if Anya would allow me to use the training room at the Magic Box, I work to much to be able to. And when I saw Riley here with his new wife, lets just say that was a ton of bricks right on top of me. I didn't think that he had moved on when I first saw him and then down the side of the wall she came and introduced herself. I can't hate her I mean I never met her, but still they were just so happy and in love it made me sick. The only thing that has improved recently has been Dawn and her behavior, she managed to stop stealing and actually go to school, but it was an uphill battle all the way, I think when the social worker threatened to take her away from here she really woke up to the fact that she needed to buckle down. And there you have. You were right I don't enjoy my life at this particular moment, but I don't think a lot of people do. I have been putting everyone before me and that's how its going to be for a while until the situation that I am in changes."

"Why didn't you ask me for help."

"Well for one, you weren't here, and two calls to England don't come cheap. You told me I needed to stand on my own, and that's what I was doing Giles. Exactly what you told me to do, for once I was listening to my watcher."

"That would be a first."

"Well yeah." I smile and as I look up I see him smiling back at me and in that brief moment I see something in his eyes I have never seen before.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews, they help the writing process proceed faster!

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

I'm not sure if it was seconds or minutes that we were staring at each other before I finally decided to speak.

"So where are you staying?"

"I haven't quite gotten to that part yet, my flat has been sold as you know and this was such a last minute trip that I haven't booked a hotel yet."

"Well, we can't have you out on the street, the couch is yours if you want it."

"Thank you, perhaps I may take you up on that offer." He places the cup down, now completely empty from my rambling and then puts the cup in the sink for me. "I guess we should see the others now."

"Yeah Willow will have picked up Dawn from school by now and they are all probably waiting at the Magic Box for us. I can drive if you want." I say as I toss a jacket on over my shoulders. I see Giles face fall as I say the words I can drive, its not like I was so great at it before and with the size of Sunnydale I can usually run anywhere that I need to go, so driving is a hobby more than a necessity and he knows this. He also knows I failed my driving test twice before I got my license. "I promise no accidents."

He laughs as we walk out the door and go to the Jeep waiting in the drive. While I buckle my seatbelt I realize since I don't use it so often and I will never trust Dawn to drive after all that has happened I should just sell it. I'm sure I could get a good price for it and it would help with some of the bills. The drive is short and I manage to find a place to park down the road from the store, right next to the coffee shop.

"Not much has changed."

"Nope same old Sunnydale. Nothing around here ever seems to change, still sunny all day long and dangerous at night."

"Well shall we go in?" I hadn't noticed that we were standing in front of the Magic Box, I can already feel Xander and Willow talking and starring trying to figure out why now, why today Giles returned from England. That's the answer I want, but I'm sure I will get it in time. Leave it to Giles to keep us all waiting for the really good part.

The bell above the door chimes and the gang all turn to face us. Dawn is beyond excited, she runs across the room and gives Giles a massive hug. If it were me giving the hug, he would barely be able to breathe, but its Dawn so I know that's not a problem for him at this moment. Tara and Willow cross the room, I notice from the corner of my eye Xander is pulling his wallet out, more than likely to pay the bet he lost. I wonder how Willow knew Giles would return this early, or this late whatever the bet was.

Each in turn come one by one to give him a hug and tell him all how much they missed him. Xander was quiet while he shook Giles hand, knowing that had he been here perhaps he would have been able to make him see the truth, but its something they will discuss later. Anya is the last to come up and say hi in her usual why are you back, you said I could run the store kind of attitude. Giles does not hug her instead they walk to the back office where they close the door to talk in private.

I gather along with the remaining members of the Scooby Gang around the table we used many times to research a demon or the next prophecy that was coming. Now we sit and wait for the door to open and Giles to emerge. Knowing Anya she will sit and pout for a while that's what she does, at least that's what she did. It must have felt like an hour when according to Xander it was only about 10 minutes that they were in the back office. No loud screaming could be heard so we all took that as a good thing, or at least we thought. I lift my head from the table as the door opens and Giles steps out.

"Buffy, Dawn why don't you get your things and I shall take you out to dinner."

"Food!"

"You are now a god in her world."

"Thank you a nice dinner out is the least I can do since you are allowing me to sleep in your house. Tara, Willow, and Xander I shall catch up with all of you tomorrow while Buffy is at work."

"Of course Giles."

"Yeah G-man whatever you say."

"Don't call me that."

"Right."

"See you all later."

"Bye Buff, bye Dawn"

I grab my purse while Dawn grabs her backpack and we head back towards the Jeep. During the walk back, Giles mentioned he wanted to try the new pasta place on the other side of town. I oblige by driving there as well as getting us there without harm.

The restaurant is new, so I have not been here yet. Dawn went a few weeks ago with one of her friends from school and their family, she said it was the best she's had in a long time. Its quaint and quiet and not so busy as of yet, but considering its close to 5 and its Friday night we are getting in early, but no complaint by me, I haven't eaten out in a while, well at least a meal that wasn't from the Doublemeat Palace. We are seated and Dawn tells Giles all about school and how she has been working for Anya after school to pay for what she stole. I can tell Giles is not happy, but he hides his disappointment by eating his Manicotti slowly. Dawn can't tell that he is mad, but I know he is mad and I'm sure it's a topic we will be discussing later.

The waitress comes by to offer dessert, I want to indulge, but since I know that Giles is paying, I'm trying to keep the bill down considering Dawn's appetite. I think that Giles can sense this because he automatically orders Crème Brule's for the both of us while Dawn orders a sundae. It's a nice quiet end to a lovely dinner and I can't imagine a better end to my day off.

We get home to find it quiet, Willow must be staying at Tara or Xander's cause she isn't here and it doesn't look like she has been home this afternoon. Dawn thanks Giles again for an awesome dinner and then runs upstairs to her room, since its Friday she doesn't have to do any homework she has until tomorrow morning, I allow her that one little break each week and she knows it. More thank likely she will be already on the phone to Janice before I even have my jacket off.

I turn and watch as Giles bolts the door and hangs his coat up. While Dawn ran upstairs, Giles went to his rental to retrieve his suitcase. I'm surprised when he comes in with two huge cases and not one small one, perhaps this is a sign that he will be staying longer than a few days. I got a feeling after he was done talking to Anya that there is something he's not telling me and I want to get the bottom of.

"Thank you for dinner Giles, it was a lovely meal."

"You are quite welcome, it's the least I can do since you are allowing me to use the couch."

"Well either way, it was a nice treat not only for Dawn but me as well. Thank you!"

He blushes in a way that tells me I embarrassed him, so while he regains he composure I go and get linens from the closet so that we can make up his bed. I return and notice him starring out the window into the night, its about that time where I should patrol and he knows it.

"Here we are."

"Thank you, it seems to be quiet tonight."

"Yeah Vamp action has been down the past few weeks."

"Then perhaps you can stay in and we can catch up?"

"It's up to you, I mean you must be tired after your flight."

"I'm wide awake, besides I really think that we should talk." All the while we are both making his bed to sleep on and our hands brush as I reach for the blanket and a bolt shot right through me, I'm not sure if its from the static or something else.

I look up to see Giles looking right back at me. I'm not sure how or when but my breathing increased and I can feel something in the pit of my stomach. He reaches up and brushes some stray hairs back behind me ear, but his hand lingers behind and suddenly I cannot breathe.

"I really do like your hair like this."

"I, well you know I…"

"Buffy," I look at him intently as he says my name in almost a whisper. "Breathe." And in the next moment his lips are on mine, and for the life of me I cannot remember what it was that he just said, all I can think about are his lips are on mine, and I don't want this moment to end.

A/N: I'm just getting started.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Please enjoy!

Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Who knew Giles had such soft lips, I know that until a few moments ago I didn't. Wow and he sure does know how to kiss, I mean wow. His hand that had stayed in my hair after brushing it back now cups my cheek and I lean into the warmth. He gently pulls away and I watch as a smile crosses his face, almost as if he dreamed it. I blow out a breath I didn't even know that I had been holding as my hands begin to snake up his chest and behind his neck, as his other hand stabilizes itself on my waist.

"Buffy, I…" He starts but before he can finish and try to back out of what just happened I interrupt him.

"That was nice." As the words come out of my mouth I can feel his hand on my cheek his thumb rubbing the bone as he looks into my eyes trying to gauge my reaction to what has just happened between us. Right now in this moment we have crossed a line, it would make things awkward, but we can at least salvage our friendship and move forward. However, if we follow our feelings and go way past the line there is no going back and we both know that as well.

I see him contemplating what I just said as well as what just happened and I know that he is wanting to take that one step forward, but I also know that he is scarred after everything that has happened over the past few years.

"So stay in and catch up?"

"That would be lovely."

"Ok, I'll go put on the kettle, I think some tea would do us good." Walking in the kitchen I can finally breathe again, Giles took the breath right from me with that kiss, who would have thought there were kisses like that out there.

Pulling the tea from the cabinet, I notice the calendar on the fridge, 118 days have come and gone since Giles left and now he's back and he's in my living room making up the couch for him to sleep on and he's kissing me. Giles is kissing me and I have no idea how or why, but I know that I like it, I mean I really like it.

The kettle whistling breaks me from my trance, I turn to fill our mugs and notice Giles leaning against the doorway just watching me. I have to take my mind off the kiss so I start talking the first thing that comes to mind is his behind closed doors conversation with Anya earlier today.

"Is there something going on with Anya I should know about?"

"Yes, but nothing that needs to be handled at this time."

"If its serious, I should know now not later."

"Anya is a vengeance demon again." Wow he just came right out with that, no hesitation or sugar coating it. "Probably since the wedding."

"How do you know?"

"Dawn's letters had me curious, she mentioned Anya was always asking for people to make wishes. And when I saw her today I sensed it. Her powers as a vengeance demon are quite strong there was no denying it."

"Great. Just what I didn't need. The love of Xander's life turning all evil again."

"There was no way you could have known Buffy."

"But I should have figured it out. You figured it out in a letter for crying out loud." I paused as I pour sugar into my tea and stir it, I just realized he said he had suspicions that she was a demon from Dawn's letter, maybe that was why he returned. Now I have to ask, but before I do, he starts speaking again.

"No that wasn't the reason for my return. It was one of the reasons yes, but not the main reason."

"What was the main reason?"

"I missed you."

I hadn't noticed that he had crossed the room and was now standing directly next to me. Being this close after that kiss is causing my stomach to swirl in anticipation. I can't help but look into his green eyes and wonder if he is going to kiss me again, or just cup my face with his strong hands.

"I didn't realize that I was worth missing."

"Oh but you are Buffy. I missed you terribly, my only piece of mind came from Willow and Dawn's letters. I tried not to read them after a while, but I eventually broke down. I had to know that you were alright. I had to see it for myself and not rely on letters to know how you were."

"And how am I in your opinion?"

"Wonderful." As he leaned in a kiss me, I realize that I haven't felt this alive since I returned from the dead; its amazing what Giles can do to me with just a simple kiss.

A/N: I am so sorry for the long delay and hope to have more up soon, but a full time job four kids, school and everything else make it near impossible, but I promise I shall finish this.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Please enjoy with my blessings._

_Summary/Disclaimer: See Chapter 1_

_Kissing Giles is amazing, I mean I can literally say I have never been kissed like this before in my life and that's saying something cause I have now been dead twice. His arms are wrapped around my waist pulling me towards him, then without warning he just lifts me up and places me so that I am sitting on the counter. Now that I am sitting here at eye level the kiss changes and just when I thought it couldn't get any better. _

_I can feel his hands in my hair as I wrap my arms under his shoulders, then without warning his pulls away breaking the kiss and begins a trail of kisses down the base of my throat, he knows I'm not a big fan of anything being around my neck and for him avoid it makes me realize that he really was paying attention all those years. One hand is now on the base of my spine and is helping to lean me back against the counter as the trail of kisses goes lower and lower. I feel so wonderful and then I hear it, the sound of Dawn thumping down the stairs. Giles must have heard it to because he stops what he is doing and we quickly separate. _

"_Buffy?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Can I go to Janice's tonight please?"_

"_You know the rules Dawn."_

"_I know, her mom is expecting the call can I please go?"_

"_Let me make the call and we will go from there."_

"_Yes!"_

_I hop off the counter and squeeze past Giles to get to the phone on the wall, I can tell he is now very frustrated at the fact that we keep getting interrupted, but maybe that will change if this phone call pans out. Its turns out it is legit, I called Janice's mom on her cell to confirm that it is ok and that she would really be there, don't need any more repeats with Dawn and Vampires again. _

_Dawn is given the all clear and goes over to Janice's house its down a few houses, so I can see her walk there and Dawn knows to carry a steak with her at all times if its anywhere near sundown. Once I know she is there safe I walk inside and close the door and turn to see Giles sitting on the stairs just waiting for me. _

"_So now the house is all ours." I'm nervous as I try and talk to him, I don't know what's going on but I sure do like it and I wish that it would continue again and soon, but maybe these interruptions have been happening for a reason. _

"_It is that." He says clasping his hands over his knees. I can see part of his mind spinning, but I can also see a look in his eyes, one of want and need; almost as if I see Ripper popping out a little bit, wanting to play. _

_I walk over and stand in front of him, as he reaches out to grab my hand, I notice that I don't fight the feelings that are appearing suddenly for Giles, but then I start to think, what if they were always there and I'm just now realizing they exist. I lean over and start kissing Giles with as much want and passion as I can muster into a kiss. I want Giles and not just for sex cause that's now a given after the past two kisses we have shared, but I want Giles. I want him to hold me, make love to me, I want him with me when I sleep when I fight, I want him with me, I need him with me. I love Giles._

_Somehow we are now standing and he is walking me up the stairs, or maybe I'm walking him, who knows all I know is that while we are walking pieces of clothing are being removed and thrown at which ever direction we can get them towards the fastest. By the time we get to the landing my blouse is completely gone along with my boots, and Giles shirt and undershirt are both missing, he took off his shoes awhile ago but is now barefoot in front of me as we now head down the hall to my room. He pushes me backwards into the wall and picture falls down next to us. I decide its time for some fun so I push him backwards down the hall and he bumps against the wall, and that's the pattern until we get to my bedroom door and I push it open all the while Giles is backing me up and we are making our way towards the bed. _

_We land with a bounce onto the bed and from there any and all remaining pieces of clothing are removed. Soon its just us, under the blankets while the cool breeze comes in through the window making love by moonlight. I was right his kisses were just a precursor to bigger and better things to come. Once we finish, its just us lying there snuggling close to one another, my ivory sheet covering us, I notice that Giles has fallen asleep and there in that moment I see him, and the sly smile that is across his face; he is content and I have made him that way. _

_I snuggle in closer and fall asleep with his arm around me, I can feel the warmth of his skin under my cheek and I can hear his heart beating and I know that he will be there in the morning when I awake, and I know that he won't hurt me the way I have been hurt in the past. All this time I was in love with Giles and I didn't even realize it. _

_A/N: I hope you all enjoyed! Let me know if you want more or I should leave it as it is. _


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